Let's
Rock!! This week I'm taking the Time machine back
to the 1970's.
Hello
time travel fans. You're in for a real treat this week
as me and Mrs Blair head back to the 1970's in search
of movie stardom.
The plan is to get a part in a romantic movie on a par
with that classic 70's tear jerker 'Love story.'
What luck, no sooner have we landed in Los Angeles, when
I bump into a film maker who goes by the name of Russ
Meyer.
He tells me that he specialises in making love
interest movies, so Cherie and I arrange an audition
for early tomorrow.
Bingo! I've landed the male love interest role in Russ's
new movie, 'The adventures of Horse Cock Horace.'
Cherie after a five hour private audition, lands the
part of Mistress Minge, a sultry
school
teacher
from
Aberdeen.
It's
the first day on the set and guess what? I have a love
scene, well 12 love scenes, if i'm going to be accurate.
Russ enquires if we have a problem with nudity. "As
long as it's necessary to the plot and not gratuitous." I
reply.
Cindy and Mindy reassure me that my fears over the lack
of a script is normal. Apparently 'Gone with the wind'
was entirely improvised, amazing!
Cindy explains that they have a infallible plan to make
the love scenes look realistic, they actually do it.
Not wanting to rock the boat, this being my first movie,
I reluctantly agree to their methodology.
Eeek, I'm sore all over, the
BDSM scene with Cherie was particularly challenging.
I've never seen so many clothes pegs. Despite my
earlier reservations, I have enjoyed my day as a movie
star, I know Cherie has because she's auditioning
for another movie as we speak.
To
the untrained eye this scene may look a little
salacious
but it conforms to the same techniques used in
modern day movies such as Edward Penishands,
Shaving Ryan's Privates and Schindler's Fist.
Cherie gives
me "What for" after catching me having relations
with an Albino Lettuce.
The part of homosexual pizza delivery
boy, Throbbing Robin, also played by Cherie, took 3 minutes
of intense make-up to bring the character to life.
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the money with 
